Dear Void :: Recent Entries

Title:	It's Not Hard...
Topics:	autism, caring, depression, family, grief, help, isolation, loss, struggle, suicide, young carer
Date:	2008-10-05 @ 17:42
Security:	public

It’s not hard to see when someone has a really hard life. It’s not hard to sit them down and try to help. It’s not hard to take more notice of the people who are under more pressure than others. It’s not hard to help.

There was a young girl who had a severely autistic brother, several years older than herself. Her mum was diagnosed with cancer when she was a teenager and went through therapy for a long time before she recovered. Whilst her parents were still married and she had two other siblings, they were a financially stable family, well connected, and there were a lot of things going for her as opposed to the majority of others in her situation – she somehow ended up taking on the tasks like that of an adult from a very young age. She did practically all the cooking, cleaning and in a nut-shell formed the glue to keep her family together and functioning. She had so much weighing her down and so much energy to keep all the plates spinning.

All of this, and she pulled it all off as if it were second nature and she managed to maintain an outer shell of complete happiness and bubbly demeanour. She had endless determination to get her brother the ultimate support and happiness in his lifestyle and cared for her brother and sister like that of a mentor and best friend.

This young girl is dead. When her endless attempts to reach out and ask for help failed, she committed suicide. She couldn't find any way out and felt as if she would be an incredible burden on those she loved most if she expressed how she was truly feeling.

After her death he parents just took on the view that, although it was a tragedy, ‘God’ did this for a reason and they have since ventured to spread this word of God around. They should be ashamed of themselves. Yet at the same time I have a deep, deep sympathy for them because they missed out on so much from their daughter that they will never have the opportunity to experience again.

This is a mad world we all live in. All the more reason, therefore, for us to look out for each other and avoid being wrapped up in our own beliefs and traditions. They are just one side of the story – not the ultimate answer.

Stick together people – just stick together!

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Title:	The Enigma of Life
Topics:	earth, everything, humanity, humankind, life, meaning, purpose, question, society, the universe
Date:	2008-10-05 @ 17:39
Security:	public

There is something about the world that I don’t think I will ever understand. It will probably even be what kills me. It is nothing less than human kind. It is the race that changed its own world and the race which will, eventually, destroy the planet earth.

Now don’t get the wrong impression. By saying this I am not saying that I am a compulsive fortune-telling flake, but rather I am just one of many human beings who is slowly being silently driven into the ground by the evil, the wrong-doings, the cruelties, injustices and grief that this world has hidden up its sleeve. There are so many of us who fall victim to this, no matter how hard we may try to run from it, and it forces us to suffer in silence. A silence more evil and cruel and more lacking in justice than anything else in this world – and that can never be fully understood by anybody.

This is the true enigma in life, and it will be written on the autopsy result for half the human population and the earth itself. The slow and painful murder of the human race and its home planet is being carried out not just through forms of psychological and emotional torture to human kind but to the earth itself through fire, littering, air pollution, such hateful acts of the environment manifested in millions of ways.

It is something so incomprehensible to see grief eat away at somebody to the point that there aren’t even any signs of grief in any shape or form. And to stand on the sidelines having no power to do anything but watch or turn away is something that drives one to the verge of insanity.

I ask this question – what scientific explanation, or formula is there that explains how a human which supposedly is made up of atoms and water and such can be put through such incredible and inhumane torture as to lose another comprised of much the same elements? If we’re all here on this planet as part of some big crazy experiment put into action by some greater being, why does the loss, or the prospect of the loss of another have such an impact?

In short, what scientific explanation is there for love and loss? Now, there’s something for you to ponder…

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Title:	The Father Shades of Grey
Topics:	abandonment, bastard, dad, family, father, isolation, parents
Date:	2008-10-05 @ 17:36
Security:	public

When a parent refers to themselves to their children as 'mum' or 'dad', there is usually a sense of inclusion and support that comes with these names. However, change it to 'mother' or 'father' and you get a detached, uninterested, alienated, not to mention superior perspective on the commitment they feel they have. At any rate, it is usually seen as a more biological term rather than a parental term. So why use it with your children, unless you really want them to know how little you really care and commit to them?

My Dad (note the term I use) has never been much of a role model in my life - nor has he ever really shown any kind of solid support for me in my life. He walked out on my mum and my brother and I when I was 9 and has since lived his own life with barely a single care in the world for anybody but himself. He spread horrid rumours about my mum as to how she treated him - all of which were complete lies. He also owes over $20,000 in child support, not to mention an emotional debt to his son who is severely disabled and who has gotten barely anything from him all his life.

In fact, all my dad saw us as when he was here was a meal ticket and a security blanket. He refused to do any proper paid work and so my mum was forced to earn all the money to keep things going. My brother had a very serious seizure when he wasn't even a whole year old, and because my dad refused to drive my mum and brother to the emergency (we didn't have any cover for ambulance fees) my brother almost died. If it weren't for a dear family friend of ours threatening to charge him with murder, I wouldn't have a brother today.

The thing I just do not understand is that this man, who I refer to as my 'dad' so fondly, has done so many horrible and cruel unloving things to me and my family, yet somehow I still feel the need to get along with him and please him. I still feel I need to prove myself to him and show him that I am worthy of his support. Why? Why do I even want his support? What is he to me?

Why, after everything he's done, do I still call him 'Dad' and he signs his emails to me as "love, your father"?

This is the question I will never be able to answer.

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Title:	Untitled
Topics:	change, community awareness, help, society, void, world
Date:	2008-09-15 @ 23:23
Security:	public
Mood:	drained

Dear void,

I'm really pissed off with society. I Just watched the most horrifying documentary about a young girl who died. Why do people get so worked up over superficial and nonsense problems like crushes and hook ups when there are people suffering in silence and taking on everyone else's problems thinking they'll make the world a better place? These are the kinds of people we need to be worried about - these are the people we need to and should be taking care with. Why is the world so cruel and unfair? Why is it always these people who have to suffer? Someone try - just try - to justify to me, why we get so distracted by consumerism and vanity and war and terror, while there are tiny tragedies making only the slightest ripple and impact in the world. Yet it is these tragedies which are the most crucial and damaging to the people of this society.

Hearing, witnessing and knowing about these tragedies make me feel so very betrayed by the world - even though it isn't something that takes place in order to hurt me. It just tears me apart knowing that there are people out there who set out to make these things happen, to let them happen. To wait for them to happen.

Stop waiting everyone. Start stopping!

This is a cry out to the world to lift your game. A sentiment sent out to you, dear void - so as the universe might catch wind of this ripple in the water and decide to ripple with it. If they do, then maybe there is some good left in the world as I hoped. But at the moment all I can do is hope. Hope, and try to make a difference.

So I send this thought out into the void. I send it with my dearest wishes and hopes of success and influence, and with the desperate hope that someone out there in the void will hear this call.

So goodnight, dear void. And good luck.

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Title:	Untitled
Topics:	ambition, career, cats, life, men, perfection, poetry, relationships
Date:	2008-09-15 @ 14:25
Security:	public
Mood:	contemplative

THE QUEST FOR PERFECTION

We are all in search of something. It could be the
perfect career, the perfect partner to share our life with, the perfect
friends, the perfect home. However, in our search for whatever we may be
striving for, the thirst for perfection somehow becomes our core
focus. It is a blessing and a curse. It possesses us. It inundates our every
passion.

But whatever it is we look to perfect or find perfection in, there is
always a challenge. There is always a question. The quest for perfection seems to be but
one of the many obstacles we must overcome in order to find who we are and what we truly want out of life.....

Over time it has occurred to me that the quest for perfection becomes our
image. It can be something we are completely aware of and take pride in, and it
can be something we might not even know exists. However, in so many people it
becomes the key to acceptance and good impressions – in other words, the key constituent
of vanity. When the vanity takes control it is as though the perfection in what
we are striving for becomes morphed to seem like an echo of social and political
protocol – and while this may not be the perfection we are looking for, as perfection should really be ultimately defined by one’s own standards and tastes, it is a
perfection that can cast a shadow over our original goals and persuade us to
take on another that may only be partially satisfactory. ...

So why perfect? Why perfection? Why not the ultimate? Why
either? Why focus on such tiny threads of the tapestry?

Humanity now looks for perfection in all the tiny minute threads of life's enormous tapestry - when truly the perfection is apprehended as part of the picture as a whole.

It is something we all strive to get a grasp of, yet almost constantly manage to miss.

All the more reason to hug a tree or smell a flower!
...Or even buy a cat...
?

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